Anton Diva - Ayoko na sana

try to listen this song before you read my notes!

Well... indeed, Anton Diva is one of the best artists that I appreciate most. She is one of the impersonators of Regine Velasquez. I know that she revived the song "Boy" which makes me laugh and remember the inarte reactions of my dearest sis... hahaha!! i will not tell you that story anymore. basta! when i was browsing youtube which my purpose is to learn some American Accents on the net, I tried to browse songs of Anton. I heard this song... which strucks me most. Despite of my busy sked, it's not being a drama queen or something, but, I am just wondering why i was not blessed enough to have someone that I might say, love me! hahaha! honestly, I am super LOL when someone says that I am to picky with guys!

well... As of now, I want to find a boyfriend material but eventually, it ends up with just a plain sex! honestly! It's better to stop the illusions that someday, someone will love me for the rest of my life. I am not living in a world of fairy tales. (ok na sa'kin na minahal ko si E____e!) and, It's better not to take the risks of being of being so melodramatic and OA becuase of F*****n guys.

Two years! hahaha! living in a world without sex life! no boys! no F****n moments... like living like a monk! haha! I know it's unbelievable but try to ask my friends! most especially my GAY friends! haha! Anyway... I must bid adeui to those memories. Maybe time will tell if I'm going to do it again... but not now!

Stop searching with guys for they are messing us! Stop believing that Love is a wonderful thing that you make and loving someone is not just giving out our love and trust to those guys! My dear sisters... i mean Tranny sisters and Gays... try to live your life as normal without having special guy in your life. I don't believe on it. They are just wasting your love, trust, effort and money. Learn how to love yourself as everyone does!

I know I sounded too preachy about this! But my concern is our life as a tranny or a gay does not only revolve in loving guys and ask them to love us! please! stop loving because of these crap! spare me... my dear sister... you are just hurting yourself! stop doing sex because it's trend! haha!

pu-leezzzz!

For the sake of PUBLICATION

Now I realized… Bickering is not good.

Hindi masama ang magalit. Kung alam mo na nasasaktan ka, walang pumipigil sayo na ipahiwatig ang lahat ng galit na nararamdaman mo. Minsan, di natin namamalayan o intensyon mo talagang magmura o kaya naman lagyan ng maraming kolorete ang mga salita na tatagos sa kaluluwa ng taong kinaiinisan mo. Sapat na ang pakiramdam na nasasaktan din siya. Hindi ka pa nakuntento at binubulyawan mo pa ng sandamakmak na mura at di kaaya-ayang mga pangungusap. Lumalaki ang isyu at lumalaki ang gulo. Marami ng baho ang nailabas.

Kawawa naman ang nabiktima. Pero di lungod sa kaalaman ng iba, siya rin ang tunay na salarin at dahilan ng lahat ng kaguluhang ito.

Ayoko na sanang palalain pa ang isyu. Ayoko na sanang pumatol sa isyu pero ang punto ko lang naman, hindi sa lahat ng panahon, kaya kong manahimik at itago lahat ng hapdi na nararamdaman ko. Matagal na akong nanahimik at alam yan ng lahat. Alam ko sa sarili ko na lagi nalang akong nagpaparaya sa lahat ng mga taong inaapi ang pahkatao ko. Kung ang Mount Pinatubo at Mount Mayon nga, marunong mag-alburuto … ako pa kaya?

Kung ano man ang nasabi ko sa hinayupak ang walang modo… kilala niyo naman kung sino siya, yun lamang ay pawang katotohanan. May karapatan akong magsulat ng constructive criticisms sa blog ko at Malaya naman siyang magsulat ng opinion niya na kung tutuusin, mas bakla pang magreact kesa sa’kin. Baklang Bakla! Tinanngap ko ang comments niya dahil marunong akong tumanggap ng RESPETO sa opinyon. Alam ko na mas may pinag-aralan ako kaysa sa kanya at mas propesyonal. Tanggap ko na hindi ako magaling na manunulat. Tanggap ko rin na kung sa paningin ng iba, isa akong horsey. Tanggap ko na kung mangyurak ng pagkatao ang iba diyan, lahat ng mabubuting bagay na ginawa ko sa mga taong nasa paligid ko, mas may karapatan akong sabihin sa buong pagkatao ko na isa akong mabuting tao kaysa sa kanya. Kung magbibilangan nalang ng mga kaibigan at nagmamahal sa’kin, marami sila. At kung parehas kaming mamamatay at ibuburol sa parehong oras at panahon, mas marami ang iinom ng kape at kakain ng Rebisco sa burol ko. Alam ko sa sarili ko na wala akong tinatapakang tao at yun ang totoo.

Nagsalita na ko. Nagchatbox siya. Nagreact ang iba at sapat na yun. Muli, mananahimik ako para sa kapakanan ng publikasyon. Mas malaki ang respeto ko kay Bhoy kaysa sa kanya. Nangyari na ang nangyari lahat ng sakit ay dumaan na. Nagkapalitan na ng maanghang na salita at dapat itigil na ang lahat ng kaguluhang ito.

Hindi buhay mo ang pinakialaman ko at yun ay paglilinaw ko lang naman. Kung hindi ka marunong tumanaw ng respeto sa kapwa mo, sana, unti-unti mong maunawaan na kung tinuturing mong pamilya ang TN, marunong ka sanang makinig, makiramdam at maging sensitibo. Hindi sa lahat ng panahon, mananahimik ang mga taong bwisit na bwisit sayo. Sana, marunong kang makinig sa nakatatanda sayo. Hindi solusyon ang pagiging Emo sa buhay. Nakakagago yun.
Ako naman ngayon ang tatahimik. Hinding hindi na ako magsasalita. Ito na ang huling pagkakataon at hindi na ito mauulit. Para sa ikabubuti ng publikasyon. Maraming salamat sa former EIC para sa realizations. Do not worry… things will be fine soon…

BTW… speaking on the outside world… Hindi ko na hawak ang desisyon kung ano man anf mangyayari. I will post these messages.

“Yes, you are right David, all the intuitions were true....it's my fault, i wanted to give him the benefit of my doubt...he was like an angel when he applied..it was only when he knew that his articles were really sub standard that he acted like an enemy to the company..maybe he cant just accept that he is not a good writer as he claim he is. His writing is good only for classroom room writing not professional writing..upload his ebook and his sets........it will make you crazy...”

“before we say anything bad against other people..please look at the mirror and see for yourself once again who you are.
talking behind one’s back is pure cowardliness . face the issue don’t run from it and quack like a duck. I am holding my patience…don’t dare me….legally, i can file a case against anyone who says bad things about the company. Treat us right and we will treat you right. Dare me and I will face that dare…in court.”

-Marrie Torrentegui Saycon
CEO MY Virtual Support

Realizations...

The damage has been done. Maybe time will tell if things will gonna be fine. In my own point, i know I have flaws, its just freaks me out to state something that is too personal and i blurt things out on the net. i know it is a childish way of bursting your anger, but the fact remains that I have been hurt and the wounds are still fresh. With regards to the company issues, I played a big role on making things more and more complicated. As I’ve said, I know the difference of school and work. I know how to place myself. As of now, give me time to heal all the wounds. I am always ready for reconciliation and I want to clear things up. I hope that these issue will be settled.
Your right Lis… David… Its everyone’s fault!

Ikalawang pasabog...

Humihingi ka ng ikalawang pasabog di ba? at alam ko na inaabangan mo to...

From David Jhules Maceda- Virtual Assistant Head of MY Virtual Support Outsourcing Business

Pasenciya sa grammar issues... if ever... gaapas me ig deadline... hindi ka trabaho para pag-aksayahan ng mahabang panahon!



continuation from Chatbox...

I think that you are perfectly aware of the difference between a private-owned company between a school organization, right? So, why the hell were you telling stuff off about the company when in fact it was clearly stated, as far as i am concerned, during the orientation that anything that might transpire in the company must remain within the company. As an agent, back then, you were not to divulge any information outside the company for the mere fact that the company has certain rules and guidelines to be followed; any violations or any harsh reactions to certain matters must be dealt with the appropriate people. ngayon, sino ang bobo? sino ang mukhang walang pinag-aralan? sino ang dapat bumalik sa grade 1? are you aware that you are liable to be sued for libel for what you have done? although your issue with the company was not exposed to the public, except the The NORSUnian, still, you have divulge confidential matters of which you were not supposed to expose to them?

Regarding your articles, of which i can relate to you stating that you are an aspiring PALANCA AWARDEE, c'mon? do you really think you can make it that far, not to mention having attitude problems and all that? Lisa, as you may have known her for being our--then--VIRTUAL ASSISTANT, ADMIN ASSISTANT, ACTING--NOW, OFFICIAL--EDITOR IN CHIEF, AND WRITER is the Cum Laude of her batch, with now, holding the degree of BACHELOR IN MASS COMMUNICATION does not even have what it takes to be a PALANCA AWARDEE--of which even I, Myself dont aspire because of the mere fact that I know what my Capabilities are and I know where I stand with the skills that I have with me in writing. Please, there must be really something wrong with you. If you want, we can accompany you to Dr. Yasi's office if you want; I think he can help you with your problems, whatever they may be.

With regards to your performance here in the office, My explanation can wait until the right time comes that i can somehow find time to pay a visit to OUR LOVELY OFFICE. thought you should know, I was part of TN before; I was the first who brought the name of the THE NORSUnian and of NORSU as well in this company thus, those who came after me somewhat became a stereotyped image of what NORSU students are. whatever the employee's opinions here in the office might be with regards to those people like you would bounce back to me, given that I was the FIRST EVER NORSUnian writer in this company. So, I think you have the idea of how upset and frustrated I am with how you have acted because clearly, from all the ranting that did, it boomeranged to me because of the fact that we came from the same school, the company had to pull me back down on becoming a trainee because of you of which i think, personally, i didnt deserve; basing from the caliber of writing that we both have, having read your articles and all, i can say i come off a step or two ahead of you.

I am sick and tired of hearing all these rumors about you spreading bullshit around without us knowing; thanks to Bea of course, we found out about it and to tell you honestly, we are all filled with angst towards you right now. Being the only NORSUnian here in the office, I am obliged to talk to you since none of them does not want to see the likeness of you; thus, to end this here for the mean time, I am daring you.

PREPARE ALL THE FUCKING GUTS THAT YOU HAVE GOT AND GIVE ME THE BEST SHOT THAT YOU CAN EVER GIVE ME BECAUSE ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN, I AM GOING TO TEAR YOU APART, IF ITS THE LAST THING THAT I AM GOING TO DO. YOU DONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I CAN BECOME WHEN I AM REALLY UPSET--of which some of the people in the office are aware of.

God Bless you Always.

Unang Pasabog....

Next taym nalang kita papatayin… Humanda ka… Salamat nga pala sa promotion… Huwag kang mangialam sa buhay ng may buhay…- Mr. Ryan Gantalao
I would like to apologize if I kept a piece of luv note (we called it in TN, a simple way of writing your own thoughts… everything that you want to say. You can even use pseudonyms or leave it UNKNOWN) anyway, I DO not have any grudges to react on what he said. Luv notes is merely an opinionated thought of writing and I am gladly respected that.
I have only three reasons why do I have to say something on this note. Honestly, It is getting worst and I am really disappointed and mad. I have only three words with this guy, INSENSITIVE, CHILDISH and worst… exasperating.
My first reason is I do not know what his attitude problem is. Maybe he lacks guidance from his parents and he does not know what the meaning of respect is. Maybe my “pagubot” attitude forced him to underestimate my capabilities especially in MYVS. FIY, Ryan is one of the resigned yet TERNMINATED agents in that office. He filed a resignation letter, I do not know if he made a resignation letter and I do not see it in my desk.
The main gist was, and I think the main reason why he acted like moron, I texted him that he ought to see me because of important matters about MYVS. He replied that he will be leaving in Manjuyod that time for I knew and the Former HR knew that he was strolling in Dumaguete. I texted him ….
“unsa ka presidente? Naa kay Rangko?”
I was really shocked with his libelous texts which some of my friends knew. Even the chiefexecutive officer knew what he texted against the company and in my part.
Honestly… things were not alright. If you were going to ask my opinion, it was only part of my job that I have to contact him for settlement issues and concerns with regards on his PAY and his pending worst articles. It was just the HR who wanted to text him for clarifications.
“ Palibhasa, hindi mo alam ang pagkakaiba ng trabaho sa gagu-gaguhang laro. Sa bagay, hindi mo naman alam ang promotion na nakuha ko sa opisina. Hindi ko rin alam kung dapat ka bang mainggit dahil sa simula’t sapul na nagtrabaho ako sa kompanyang pinag-aksayan mo ng pawis at dugo… ay hindi… pinag-akasayahan mo ng panahong kakaFACEBOOK at pagUNDERTIME, masyado mo ng ikinondena ang abilidad ko. Dapat mong malaman na iba ang mundo sa eskwelahan at TRABAHO. Dapat mong malaman na hindi sa lahat ng panahon, dapat mong pairalin ang pagiging hudas at inggitero. Kung akala mo lang na hindi ako tatagal sa kompanyang ito… dalawang buwan kong minahal ang trabaho ko na dapat sana, ginawa mo”
Second, some of the TN staffers knew that I will not speak for the certain issues on the outside world most especially if I am in the premises of TN office. I am sensitive about that. But the fact is, he is the one who opens the door of disgrace, humiliation and unethical actions in his part.
“ Alam mo na hindi na ako nagsasalita at isa kang masangsang na hangin sa pananaw ko. Alam mo na may natitira pa akong respeto sa iyo at alam ko na hindi ka marunong tumanaw ng respeto sa iba. Marami akong saksi. At kung masayado kang nahuhumaling sa pagkakalat mo na isa isa kang magaling na manunulat, huwag mong antayin na ipakalat ko lahat ng articles mo sa opisina na REJECTED at ang pinagmamalaki mong E-BOOK na masyadong malaswa at walang Code of Etihics. Palibhasa, hindi mo alam ang Ethics sa pagsusulat dahil hindi ka Masscom. “
“sadyang lumaki na ulo mo. Hindi ko alam at hindi ko na dapat malaman pa kung napakanormal na sa iyong sistema ang ganitong pag-uugali o epekto ng TN kaya ka nagkaganyan. Marunong akong lumugar sa mga bagay na dapat kong sabihin at gawin. Alam ko ang kinalalagyan ko at sana, alam mo rin kung saan ka lulugar”
“kung gamitan nalang ng kapangyarihan ang gusto mong ipalabas, mahigit isang taon ka pa lang sa TN. Ni minsan, hindi ko man lang nakita ang sincerity mo sa TN office. Hindi mo nga naransan mag-overnight. Masyado kang pa-importante pag may events at gusto mo, lagi kang napapansin o normal lang talaga na PAPANSIN ka. Kung may pagkain sa TN o may libre, masyadong makapal ang mukha mo at di ka matutong mahiya at mas malala ka pa sa PATAY GUTOM na salita”
“ Hindi na nga ako nagsasalita sa mga atrasong binigay mo sa kompanyang binuwisit mo lang… at sa totoo lang, mas binigyan mo pa ako ng problema. Kung hindi lang dahil sa trabaho, malamang, wala tayong problema kahit ibang tao na lang ang may malaking problema sayo. Pasensiya na pero tinuturing ko lang trabaho ang lahat ng pakikitungo ko sayo kahit sa TN office. Ni minsan, hindi kita tinuring na kaibigan o malapit sa buhay ko. Lahat ng TN staffers ay importante para sa akin at ikaw lang ang bukod tanging hindi ko tinrato ng ganoon. Masyado ka kasing papansin at walang hiya. Gahaman ka at mapanghusga. Lahat nalang ng bagay ginagawa mong kumplikado.”
And my third and valid reason, I consider my friends to leave harsh comments (they knew it is not too argumentable) unlike your comments. Your notes are too vulgar and annoying. I more deserve to block you as my friends. But sad to say, you first block me out. You even blocked my blogger account. How thick is your face. Threatened? Well, I do not have to deal with this issue because I am not like you. My mom raised me with values and ETHICS. I do not know if your mom or dad teaches you the right way. What the shit I care if your parents are separated and you make it as an excuse why are you like that! Well… better inject some valium my dear… maybe you already experienced restlessness.
NGAYON NIYO SABIHIN SA’KIN NA MALI AKO… NA AKO PA ANG LUMALABAS NA KOTRABIDA SA BUHAY NIYA. SA TOTOO LANG, HINDI LANG AKO ANG MAY GALIT KAY RYAN. MARAMI KAMI!
ALAM KO NA HINDI NIYA MABABASA ANG POST NA ITO. WALA AKONG MAGAGAWA. KAYA NGA NAIMBENTO ANG BLOG PARA KAHIT PAPAANO, MAIBSAN ANG GALIT AT HINAING NG ISANG TAO. WALA AKONG PAKIALAM KUNG MAG-MENTION MAN AKO NG NAMES. WEALA AKONG PAKIALAM KUNG MAGKAKAROON NG MALAKING HIDWAAN SA AMING DALAWA. ALAM KO NA MAS EDUKADO AKONG TAO KAYSA SA KANYA.

Misjudged

Honestly, I sleep at least 2 hours… and it was our break! Too bad… it was just only a nap… I might say, A POWER NAP!

I was not in a mood to write articles today. Maybe I was too stressed or maybe I was so excited with the Bohol Escapade this week end and I hope “madayon siya”.

I was so happy with the pictorials we had last week end. It was a successful one. I was really amazed with the pictures, make-up and costumes… even though there were flaws… hehe! If I am dealing with the so called pressure… spare on me, it involves physical and psychological pressure…

Some issues brought up. Some people were having revenge. Some were in deep pain and others were alarmed that it was really a wrong timing. I do not know how to fix these. I just have to let it pass and heal all the wounds of yesterday. I was really happy after the shoot. But seeing my colleagues being jaded with the so called issues, it alarmed me to deal with their sympathy.

Why is it that some people are often misjudged? How do you react on criticisms? Why do we have to feel the insanity of the other people?

Questions raised in my head. Me too, I do not know the exact answer. It is vague. It takes time for you to resolve these issues. I want to pat their backs…but there is something that blocks me to do it. I do not know why…

I know it is harsh. It is too painful. Issues became worst because of selfishness and inconsiderate. Some people are too judgmental. They do not think what the real score is. They want to judge and criticize people with all their means.

All we have to do is… things will be fine soon. Time may heal the wounds…but not now.