Actually, I decided to post at least 10 English posts just for a quite change in my blog account (challenging ito!), anyway… at least di ba?
As far as I remember, I wrote a post about my dad which is really painful for me to write about. Well, you cannot blame me for that one coz it was really one of the most painful things that I felt in my 22 years living in this crazy world. Yah… I had grudges with my dad for what he had done to me. I would like to clarify that he hurt me emotionally and not physically and it was not a gender issue that most of the gays felt why they hated their father so much. I have a different reason and I think it is valid!
That was before… again, that was BEFORE. Maybe god is so great that he was able to grant me a gift of understanding and forgiveness to others, I don’t want to be sounded as I was making “wali” but it was true.
Yesterday, I was wondering that I was not able to receive any text from my mom. I left her in Bacolod last Monday. Even though that my mom is really a “lagalag” kind of person, I was a bit worried. When I went home in my grandmother’s house at around 10:30 p.m, I saw that there were lot of people in the house and I thought that my lola was dead. Well, it went wrong… the mourning that I felt in my head turned into happiness when I saw my dad in the couch sitting in front of my mom’s relatives. I was also shocked that my mom was there sitting beside papa and laughing lout loud (as usual… my mom is like me).
I was screaming when I saw them. I wanted to cry but I managed not to do it coz I was thinking that I was overreacting. Without apprehension, I hugged my dad and I really felt the completeness within myself. My mom was really happy and so do I.
We talked so many things and I realize that even for a short time, my family was complete. I slept between them and it was really the first time that I did it.
I have reasons why I had grudges with my father and I realize that even though he made a mistake in our family, he is willing to cope it up. I wish that the memories or I should say problems that my family encountered may turn into ashes and be deleted in our minds. Maybe if I could turn back the time… I will try to fix the mess that we experienced.
hmmm, that’s life. Sometimes, you have to experience to be hurt and be happy after all. My only advice is to love your mama and papa so much. They are the ones who will mold you to become a good person. They are the ones who will teach you how to be a fighter in this challenging world. And they are the ones who love you for who you are as a person.
Sounds new right? Well… It’s a part of growing up!
No comments:
Post a Comment